New Receptionist
by Circlemidnight
Summary: A new employee comes to Dunder Mifflin. How do the workers react? Please R&R!
1. The Beginning

I stepped inside the gray building. Damn, it was ugly. I go to the elevator, and I wish myself good luck. It was so weird. I could be anywhere, but I end up in Scranton, PA. I mean, hello, I graduated from Harvard a year early

I'm at the door now. I wish myself good luck at my new job. I open the door, and I find a girl with medium-length brown hair casually typing on the keyboard.

"Hi." I say, "I'm Lili Harman-"

"You're the new receptionist. I'm Erin Hannon, the old receptionist. I'm supposed to give you the tour before I go to accounting." The girl said.

"Oh, okay, that's cool." I replied.

"Here's the first introduction to Dunder Mifflin." Erin said, "Our boss, Michael Scott, is quite a character."

As if we were in a play, a short man with slicked back hair comes out of the office. He has cameras following him, as well. Maybe that was why I had to sign release forms earlier.

"Well, hello, my name is Michael Scott! You must be our new receptionist. Well, normally, I'd show you around, but I have a meeting to go to, so I can't." The man said, then looking at the rest of the employees, "Jimbo's in charge!"

(Talking-head) "Well, I like this new receptionist. She's like…" Michael says, looking directly into the camera, "A Pam Beesley, 6.0"

"Who's Jimbo?" I asked.

"I'm Jimbo. Well, that's not my name, actually. It's Jim." The man had shaggy brown hair, sparkling eyes, and a kind smile. He was actually cute.

"I have to show Lili around the office." Erin said.

"Well, here's Jim, obviously." Erin said, "But this guy, is Dwight."

Dwight has glasses that are seriously outdated, and he's wearing a brown suit with a yellow shirt and tie. He also has a head shaped like a bobble head.

"Dwight K. Schrute, nice to meet a new employee." Dwight said.

"Hey, Dwight, aren't you looking for a girlfriend." Jim asked.

Dwight looked murderous.

"You are embarrassing me in front of the new employee." Dwight said furiously.

"I live to do that." Jim replied.

"Well, anyways, this is Pam." Erin said.

"Just so you're aware of the office relationships, Pam's my fiancée." Jim said.

"Congratulations! I hope you're happy together!" I gushed. Jim and Pam did look like a cute couple.

"Thanks!" Pam said.

"And here is Ryan." Erin said.

Ryan had dark brown hair, and sparkling blue eyes.

"Hey, how's it going?" Ryan asked.

"It's going well." I replied.

(Talking-Head) "The new receptionist is way hot." Ryan says, looking into the camera

"Well, this is Andy Bernard." Erin says, showing me to a man with brown hair and a creepy smile.

"Hey, new receptionist." Andy said.

"Hey." I reply.

"This is Stanley Hudson." Erin said. Stanley was a heavy set, middle-aged African-American man.

Stanley grunted.

"This is Phyllis Lapin Vance." Phyllis was a heavy middle-aged woman.

"Oh, and the Accountants are Angela Martin." Erin said. Angela was a blond petite woman who wore all gray and coldly nodded at me.

"Angela well, is a little tight." Erin said, smiling.

I hid a laugh and smiled back.

"This is Oscar Martinez." Oscar was a Hispanic man.

"This is Kevin Malone." Erin said. Kevin was a heavy person who was eating.

"Well, this is most of the office. You'll meet them all at lunch." Erin said, "The reception job is really easy. All you have to do is say, 'Hello, this is Dunder Mifflin, my name is Lili.'"

"Thanks for the tour, Erin!" I said.

"Anything is better than Michael's tour. You'll see him tomorrow." Erin said, going to her desk.

The reception job was easy. However, the job was also boring. I was counting the minutes to lunch with anticipation. I hadn't done this since 5th grade.

"Hello, Lili. Your time for decision making has come. Will you be a slacker like Jim, or will you be like me, in Schrute's Army of Salvation?" Dwight roared.

This person had to be insane.

"Let me think about it." I said.

Clearly, this was not the anticipation he'd been expecting as he said, "Well, is their anything on my face?"

I grabbed a sharpie and scribbled all over his face and said, "Now you do."

Dwight scowled,"You will regret this, Lili."

(Talking-head) "Lili is very disrespectful to her elders." Dwight says, furiously scrubbing his forehead.

"Great job, Lili!" Pam said.

"You should join us for lunch! C'mon everyone, celebration, extra thirty minutes of lunch." Jim said.

"Hooters?" Kevin asked.

"No, Kevin. What about Cooper's?" Jim asked.

"Money goes to the company credit card, I hope?" Stanley said.

"Uh…well," Jim stammers.

"I don't think it's a good idea." A tired man says.

"C'mon, Toby, show some spirit." An Indian girl says.

"Oh, fine. Let's just keep it quiet." Jim said.

"Great. Carpool at my car!" A redhead calls out.

Everyone went downstairs. Obviously, this did not every day.

"So, who's going to not be buckled up?" Ryan asked.

"Well, I'm bringing Pam, Kelly, and Erin." Jim said.

"The rest go with Meredith. Well, Stanley's taking his car, and so are Oscar and Kevin." Pam replied.

Meredith was in front, with Andy next to her. Me, Angela, Ryan, and Dwight in the back seat, Phyllis was in the back.

**********************

Lunch was fun! Jim and Pam pulled endless pranks on Dwight, which everyone thought was funny, and the atmosphere was light. Then we all went back to Dunder Mifflin, and Michael gave us a boring lecture on business ethics. (Toby could have done it, but Michael's reaction to it was, "Ugh, Toby, you don't know anything.)

"Well, lucky you! Happy first day?" Jim asked.

"It was cool." I agreed.

"Well, we normally don't have days like these, but whatever." Pam said.

"Oh. Well, bye Pam! Bye Jim!" I said, going to my roommate's borrowed car.

Overall, Dunder Mifflin was okay.


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the week was actually good. We worked, and I eventually found out that the receptionist job is pretty boring, so I spend my time playing solitaire, and sometimes I download music onto itunes, but its okay. Ryan, Pam, and Jim were helpful too.

"Attention, employee's of Dunder Mifflin! Michael would like your attention!" Dwight shouted.

"Thank you Dwight. Now, today, on Casual Friday, we have a very special event. Drumroll, please!" Michael said.

I took everyone's cue and not drumrolled.

"Oh, come on! We will have a fun little lecture on death in the office!" Michael said.

Not fun. Even I knew that.

"Michael, that's my job. I'm the HR rep." Toby said.

"Ugh, Toby, it's my job to make this place fun. Well, see you in the conference room in five minutes." Michael said.

Erin walked up to my desk and said, "Michael does these little surprises all the time."

"I see. I do not think I'm getting used to it. Yet." I replied.

"Well, you will soon." Erin said.

An Indian girl came to my desk and said, "I don't think we met yet. I'm Kelly Capoor. Ohmigosh, cute outfit!"

"Oh, thanks! I'm Lili Harman." I replied.

"Cool! Well, see you at Michael's meeting." Kelly said.

I answered several calls before going to the conference room. I found a seat next to Ryan and Erin, in the back, and listened to Michael's boring lecture.

I looked at my phone for something. A text. Something. Anything.

Then, I got one. It was from Pam.

Hey, we are going to Poor Richard's. Want to come?

I texted back a , sure, why not?

"Well, can anyone think of any situation which they thought a death was tragic, and they need to share it?" Michael asked.

"Ooh, I know one!" Pam said, "My aunt died in a driving accident. She was blown up by a domestic terrorist."

Knowing Pam, I am sure she was pulling a prank on him.

"Great! Now, pass this ball, so that only you can speak." Michael said.

Ryan got the ball and said, "Well, when I was three, we went on an African Sahara trip. My little cousin was three months old, and we were riding in the van, when elephants stampeded the place. My cousin fell, and then he was crushed."

Michael gaped.

Jim got the ball and said, "My best friend in high school was suicidal. I used to think it was just hormones, but one day, in the bathroom, he hanged himself."

Michael just stared.

I knew that had to be a joke.

Jim passed the ball to me. Therefore, I improvised and said, "Well, when I was ten, my friend went on a trip to the South Pacific. She didn't come back with her family for five months. They found out that she was eaten alive by cannibals."

Phyllis motioned for the ball to be tossed to her, so I tossed it. Jim gave me a small wink, and Pam smiled.

"Well, when I was in a sorority, my sister went to a rave. Therefore, well, she went missing for a couple of weeks. Everyone searched for her, and eventually, she was found buried in an abandoned barn, after being stabbed to death."

"Wait? Isn't that a common college story that your sorority used to tell?" Michael finally said.

We all looked guiltily.

"Oh, come on! None of you know anything about death! Nothing!" Michael said, and ran away.

"Michael, wait!" Dwight said, before running away.

Pam stood up and said, "Did you guys receive my text?"

"I can't come. My daughter has a cheerleading game or whatever." Stanley said, frowning.

"Drinking is an unhealthy sin. I will not participate in such behavior." Angela said.

"My daughter's coming, so I can't either." Toby said.

"Great! I'm carpooling in Bob's van." Phyllis said.

"My van as well!" Meredith yelled.

"Anyways, I think this meeting over, so I'm going." Stanley said.

Eventually, everyone else milled out.


End file.
